So we left Theseus boarding the black-sailed ships with the other tributes, unarmed and defenseless, being taken as sacrificial cargo to a strange land to be sacrificed to a terrifying beast. Let us rejoin our hero and see what will befall.
Hi there, welcome back to the Legends Myths and Whiskey podcast, thanks for returning each week for new episodes and thanks for subscribing to the program.
Last week we left Theseus, after a string of incredibly triumphs, in a pretty grim position. Let’s recap where we’re at so far.
Theseus retrieves a sword and a pair of sandals from beneath a large stone hidden in a forgotten thicket. His mother tells him that he must take these items to Athens and show them to King Aegeus, his father, whom he has never known, and take his rightful place as heir to the throne.
Theseus ponders this a bit and doubts that his father would even want him as an heir given that he’s done very little, up to that point, to be worthy of such good fortune. But then he has an idea, he’ll travel to Athens on foot and slay all the monsters he can find along the way, ridding the land of evil before finally meeting his father.
And so the rampage begins. Theseus slays, Pair-ah-feet-eeze, Sea-nn-esss, Skee-ron, Kerkuon, and finally pro-krOO-steeze the stretcher. When he arrives at the house of his father he is met by his cousins, drunk and carefree with wine. He demands to see his father but before he reveals he is his son, he fights off his jealous cousins and foils an attempt on his live by Media, the Dark Witch Woman, who then flees the scene never to return. Theseus then tells his father, King Ageus, who he is, and everything is happy…
But when the Spring Equinox approaches the town grows quiet and sad and Theseus isn’t told why and doesn’t discover the truth until a herald arrives in the town one day demanding tribute, saying that King Aegeus owes a certain number of men and women to King Minos every year for the unjust murder of his son. These people are thrown into the Labyrinth of Daedalus on Crete and sacrificed to the Minotaur.
Theseus refuses to believe this, but his father confirms it is true. Theseus then offers himself as one of the tributes, with the intent of slaying the Minotaur and, if needs be, King Minos himself. Aegeus begs him not to go, but Theseus will not relent, and eventually his father agrees.
So we left Theseus boarding the black-sailed ships with the other tributes, unarmed and defenseless, being taken as sacrificial cargo to a strange land to be sacrificed to a terrifying beast.
Let us rejoin our hero and see what will befall.
And at last they came to Crete, and to Cnossus, beneath the peaks of Ida, and to the palace of Minos the great king, to whom Zeus himself taught laws. So he was the wisest of all mortal kings, and conquered all the Ægean isles; and his ships were as many as the sea-gulls, and his palace like a marble hill. And he sat among the pillars of the hall, upon his throne of beaten gold, and around him stood the speaking statues which Daidalos had made by his skill. For Daidalos was the most cunning of all Athenians, and he first invented the plumb-line, and the auger, and glue, and many a tool with which wood is wrought. And he first set up masts in ships, and yards, and his son made sails for them: but Perdix his nephew excelled him; for he first invented the saw and its teeth, copying it from the back-bone of a fish; and invented, too, the chisel, and the compasses, and the potter’s wheel which moulds the clay. Therefore Daidalos envied him, and hurled him headlong from the temple of Athené; but the Goddess pitied him (for she loves the wise), and changed him into a partridge, which flits for ever about the hills. And Daidalos fled to Crete, to Minos, and worked for him many a year, till he did a shameful deed, at which the sun hid his face on high.
Then he fled from the anger of Minos, he and Icaros his son having made themselves wings of feathers, and fixed the feathers with wax. So they flew over the sea toward Sicily; but Icaros flew too near the sun; and the wax of his wings was melted, and he fell into the Icarian Sea. But Daidalos came safe to Sicily, and there wrought many a wondrous work; for he made for King Cocalos a reservoir, from which a great river watered all the land, and a castle and a treasury on a mountain, which the giants themselves could not have stormed; and in Selinos he took the steam which comes up from the fires of Ætna, and made of it a warm bath of vapour, to cure the pains of mortal men; and he made a honeycomb of gold, in which the bees came and stored their honey, and in Egypt he made the forecourt of the temple of Hephaistos in Memphis, and a statue of himself within it, and many another wondrous work. And for Minos he made statues which spoke and moved, and the temple of Britomartis, and the dancing-hall of Ariadne, which he carved of fair white stone. And in Sardinia he worked for Iölaos, and in many a land beside, wandering up and down for ever with his cunning, unlovely and accursed by men.
But Theseus stood before Minos, and they looked each other in the face. And Minos bade take them to prison, and cast them to the monster one by one, that the death of Androgeos might be avenged. Then Theseus cried—
‘A boon, O Minos! Let me be thrown first to the beast. For I came hither for that very purpose, of my own will, and not by lot.’
‘Who art thou, then, brave youth?’
‘I am the son of him whom of all men thou hatest most, Ægeus the king of Athens, and I am come here to end this matter.’
And Minos pondered awhile, looking steadfastly at him, and he thought, ‘The lad means to atone by his own death for his father’s sin;’ and he answered at last mildly—
‘Go back in peace, my son. It is a pity that one so brave should die.’
But Theseus said, ‘I have sworn that I will not go back till I have seen the monster face to face.’
And at that Minos frowned, and said, ‘Then thou shalt see him; take the madman away.’
And they led Theseus away into the prison, with the other youths and maids.
But Ariadne, Minos’ daughter, saw him, as she came out of her white stone hall; and she loved him for his courage and his majesty, and said, ‘Shame that such a youth should die!’ And by night she went down to the prison, and told him all her heart; and said—
‘Flee down to your ship at once, for I have bribed the guards before the door. Flee, you and all your friends, and go back in peace to Greece; and take me, take me with you! for I dare not stay after you are gone; for my father will kill me miserably, if he knows what I have done.’
And Theseus stood silent awhile; for he was astonished and confounded by her beauty: but at last he said, ‘I cannot go home in peace, till I have seen and slain this Minotaur, and avenged the deaths of the youths and maidens, and put an end to the terrors of my land.’
‘And will you kill the Minotaur? How, then?’
‘I know not, nor do I care: but he must be strong if he be too strong for me.’
Then she loved him all the more, and said, ‘But when you have killed him, how will you find your way out of the labyrinth?’
‘I know not, neither do I care: but it must be a strange road, if I do not find it out before I have eaten up the monster’s carcase.’
Then she loved him all the more, and said—‘Fair youth, you are too bold; but I can help you, weak as I am. I will give you a sword, and with that perhaps you may slay the beast; and a clue of thread, and by that, perhaps, you may find your way out again. Only promise me that if you escape safe you will take me home with you to Greece; for my father will surely kill me, if he knows what I have done.’
Then Theseus laughed, and said, ‘Am I not safe enough now?’ And he hid the sword in his bosom, and rolled up the clue in his hand; and then he swore to Ariadne, and fell down before her, and kissed her hands and her feet; and she wept over him a long while, and then went away; and Theseus lay down and slept sweetly.
And when the evening came, the guards came in and led him away to the labyrinth.
And he went down into that doleful gulf, through winding paths among the rocks, under caverns, and arches, and galleries, and over heaps of fallen stone. And he turned on the left hand, and on the right hand, and went up and down, till his head was dizzy; but all the while he held his clue. For when he went in he had fastened it to a stone, and left it to unroll out of his hand as he went on; and it lasted him till he met the Minotaur, in a narrow chasm between black cliffs.
And when he saw him he stopped awhile, for he had never seen so strange a beast. His body was a man’s: but his head was the head of a bull; and his teeth were the teeth of a lion, and with them he tore his prey. And when he saw Theseus he roared, and put his head down, and rushed right at him.
But Theseus stept aside nimbly, and as he passed by, cut him in the knee; and ere he could turn in the narrow path, he followed him, and stabbed him again and again from behind, till the monster fled bellowing wildly; for he never before had felt a wound. And Theseus followed him at full speed, holding the clue of thread in his left hand.
Then on, through cavern after cavern, under dark ribs of sounding stone, and up rough glens and torrent-beds, among the sunless roots of Ida, and to the edge of the eternal snow, went they, the hunter and the hunted, while the hills bellowed to the monster’s bellow.
And at last Theseus came up with him, where he lay panting on a slab among the snow, and caught him by the horns, and forced his head back, and drove the keen sword through his throat.
Then he turned, and went back limping and weary, feeling his way down by the clue of thread, till he came to the mouth of that doleful place and saw waiting for him, whom but Ariadne!
And he whispered ‘It is done!’ and showed her the sword; and she laid her finger on her lips, and led him to the prison, and opened the doors, and set all the prisoners free, while the guards lay sleeping heavily; for she had silenced them with wine.
Then they fled to their ship together, and leapt on board, and hoisted up the sail; and the night lay dark around them, so that they passed through Minos’ ships, and escaped all safe to Naxos; and there Ariadne became Theseus’ wife.
Whiskey and Farewell
Hope you all are enjoying the story so far, we’ll have the conclusion of the Story of Theseus ready for you next Monday and then we’ll be done with our Greek Series and it’ll be time to start our 15-week journey into Norse Mythology! I know many of you are excited about this, champing at the bit perhaps, but don’t worry, good things come to those who wait.
Okay, so what about the whiskey review? Well, I don’t have one this week. I have something that might be better though, because it’s basically a string of suggestions and the opportunity to pick them up at a discounted rate.
Master of Malt .com has introduced a new feature on their website called flash sales, and I’m pretty sure it’s only just started to be a think this last weekend. Essentially the fine men and women at Master of Malt hand pick a certain number of bottles to go on sale each week – and it’s not just whiskey, it runs the gamut from whiskeis to rums to gins and everything else. We’ve created an easier link to remember, just go to lmaw.co/flash and you’ll be in the right place.
At the moment they’re offering
A 15yo Speyside called Single Minded, get 4/5 stars
Laphroaig Lore, 4.5/5 stars
Rock Oyster 18 year 5/5 stars
Even a 42 year old 1973 Glenglassaugh – it usually retails at $2,170 and is being offered for $1,600. Not that any of us will be purchasing anything THAT expensive, but like I said, the specials run the gamut – both in quality and range.
Again, lmaw.co/flash and keep your eye on this page. There’s a good chance it’s going to be the source of our whiskey selections in the future – because who doesn’t like saving money on booze?
One quick note before I go, you’ll notice our Facebook page is no longer up. That’s intentional, we’ve left the platform. On July 1 we’ll leave Twitter. We’ve built our own community and we’ve built it entirely around the love of mythology and folklore. We’re going exclusive – by the fall you won’t be able to find us anywhere but here on our podcast and in the newly created Realm of the Satyr. While it is a members only community, it is free to join. Simply head over to lmaw.co/realm and request membership. That’s it. Your request will be granted within a few hours and you’ll have access to all the things we’re planning between now and 2019 – including Greek Language courses, interview series, and the revival of our review videos. lmaw.co/realm.
Thanks again for listening and subscribing, we love you guys and gals and we appreciate you being here and valuing our content. See you next week, take care.